“No matter which way this heap of shit slides, it is still a heap of shit.” ~There Is No Dog
There Is No Dog by Meg Rosoff: 2/5 Stars
Meet your unforgettable protagonist: God, who, as it turns out, is a 19-year-old boy living in the present-day and sharing an apartment with his long-suffering fifty-something personal assistant. Unfortunately for the planet, God is lazy and, frankly, hopeless. He created all of the world’s species in six days because he couldn’t summon the energy to work for longer. He gets Africa and America mixed up. And his beleagured assistant has his work cut out for him when God creates a near-apolcalyptic flood, having fallen asleep without turning the bath off. There is No Dog is a darkly funny novel from one of our most delightfully unpredictable writers.
*This review may contain some spoilers*
I liked the idea of this book, but the way it was written just ended up confusing me. I guess this book just wasn’t for me. It has a pretty low rating already so I figured I probably wouldn’t like this book in the first place. However, I wasn’t afraid to give it a shot and I wouldn’t exactly say I was disappointed since I didn’t really go into reading this book expecting anything. I just kept an open mind throughout it.
The thing I liked most was Bob’s pet Eck. I wish I found this book more interesting, but I found it very bland. I also found it a little confusing, because I felt like some things weren’t really explained enough. However, it’s a very creative and different story.
I usually talk about the characters in my reviews so I’ll go ahead and do that now. So, bob is I guess you can say the main character. He’s the new God and he’s just a teenager. It’s no surprise that Bob only thinks about sex and that’s usually what causes chaos to happen. Thing’s only get worse on Earth when God sees Lucy and falls in love. The thing I disliked about the story and Bob as a character is that he went through this journey yet didn’t learn anything. It felt like such a pointless journey, because he claimed to love Lucy but he was just horny and when he didn’t get what he wanted he threw a fit. Every time he didn’t get what he wanted he threw a fit and all the people on Earth had to pay for it. I just found him as an annoying main character that acted like a baby rather than a teenager. Plus, I thought he would learn to love, treat women right, be a better God, but in the end he learned absolutely nothing. I would have rather had Mr. B as the main character.
Might as well talk about Mr. B now! So, Mr. B is the one who does most of the work since Bob doesn’t actually care. He fixes things when Bob gives up on them or messes up. He is pretty much the one who takes care of Bob, but he isn’t too fond of Bob. Bob is irresponsible and doesn’t care about his creations which is why Mr. B has a disliking for him. Mr. B feels like he deserves more credit for what he does for Bob. It’s disappointing to never see him get the credit he deserves. Anyway, that’s about it considering Mr. B isn’t exactly the main character.
Lucy is the girl Bob falls in love with, or so he claims. He really just wants to have sex with Lucy and he gets a little mad when he doesn’t get what he wants right away. I actually liked Lucy at the beginning of the book because she is so nice and positive. However, at one point in the book Lucy and Bob hook up and Bob doesn’t call her back and so Lucy gets mad at Bob even though he told her he didn’t have a phone. That just kind of annoyed me because I feel like a normal person wouldn’t react like that. Oh well, I guess the whole book isn’t normal and is just chaotic on its own
Let’s talk about Eck!! Eck is my most favorite character in the whole novel! Eck is “an odd penguiny sort of creature with the long elegant nose of an anteater, beady eyes and soft grey fur.” I just think he sounds adorable! You follow Eck around for a nice chunk of the book as you see him struggle with the fact that he’s going to be eaten since Bob’s mother gambled him away. I feel like this was such a random thing to have so much of in the story. None of it made sense really. This book felt like a jumbled and confusing piece of work. However, that being said, I don’t want to say the author is untalented or anything of the sort. I mean I’ve never written a book and I feel like if I did it would be a mess. Plus, I haven’t read any of her other books so I can’t judge too much. For all I know I could love her other books and this one may not have worked with me.
I do have to say this was a really quick and easy read though. It was a very mindless and fun read so if you’re into that then you might wan to give this book a try. It was goofy and silly. I may not have enjoyed the book/story as a whole, but it definitely had some fun parts to it. It was different and I wish that it was maybe written different or went more in-depth, because the concept is cool and creative.
I don’t want to really say much about the religious side of this book, because obviously it’s a tad offensive. I kept an open mind so I didn’t take offence to this book, but if you’re religious it’s definitely possible that you might. So, it you think this book may be offensive to you then I don’t suggest you pick it up.
The biggest problem I had with this book is that it’s has no message to it. Most books have some sort of message to take away, but this one had nothing. Which made it not as enjoyable, but like I said before it can be a fun mindless read. Not the best read, but it happens. Sometimes there are books that don’t work for you but are amazing to others.
Anyway, I recommend this to anyone who’s looking for a quick or potentially fun read. I may not have enjoyed it, but that doesn’t mean you won’t. If it sounds like something you’re interested in then I suggest picking it up and giving it a try. After all it’s a fast read and won’t take you long.
I’m sorry this was a short review! There wasn’t a whole lot to talk about when it came to this book but if you have any questions just comment down below and I’ll answer them to the best of my abilities! Anyway, I hope y’all enjoyed this review!!! 😀